Instead defensive stuff happens like distancing from each other or finding another lover to make up for what is not happening in the marriage.The problem is you can’t get a piece of what you need from one person and another piece from someone else and expect to have a stable and satisfying love-life. What you get instead is fragmentation, conflict, and limited intimacy.
His superficial belief that he wants someone else’s woman for the convenience is a lie he defensively tells himself.
The reality is he’s looking for love like the rest of us and afraid of what he’ll find.
Triangles exist simply because a problem is not being resolved in a marriage.
Two people get married and have marital problems, instead of resolving those problems either by fixing the relationship or ending it, which by the way can be a valid resolution of a problem, a third party is brought into the relationship, and now you have a triangle.
He may start thinking about asking her to leave her husband. He could be thrown out of the triangle and the married couple could end up fixing their relationship, this could happen.
The ‘other man’ gets painfully left out, not yet knowing that is the best thing that could happen to him.
Personally, I think most if not all married people know on some level if a spouse is cheating, but that’s just my belief.
Anyway, the married man like his supposed competition is afraid of a deeper intimacy as well. His willingness to live in a limited marital relationship thinly disguises this fear of deeper love and intimacy.
In this kind of triangle with two men and a woman, there are instances when the two men fight over the woman.
This kind of drama is amusing only because if they know how connected they both are and how much they have in common they might realize that it would be more profitable for both of them to have a conversation together about the whole thing in a coffee shop or something.
The question is whether or not the married man will fix this intimacy issue with this wife.